Retired nurse frustrated in search for long-term care for her husband

Retired nurse Deborah Brannan has been providing her husband Tom — who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and multiple sclerosis — with 24/7 medical care at their home in Surrey for the last decade.

Deborah was diagnosed with breast cancer just last week. Now, as she faces the harsh reality of not being able to care for her husband of 17 years, she is looking into long-term care options for Tom.

With his health and safety becoming more of a risk at home, Deborah says her search has been troublesome, and she feels she is running out of time and options.

“I didn’t get any assistance,” she said. “When I said, ‘Could he be assessed for long-term care?,” they were accusatory, almost, like it’s my fault for choosing to look after him.”

Deborah says Fraser Health has done multiple long-term care assessments and has offered daily one-hour morning visits.

She says this isn’t good enough.

“They said they only shower them once a week and they shave him once a week. I’m like ok, so you’re going to come wash him, put him in his clothes put him in the chair,” she said.

“That’s really not helping his safety issue. He needs to be in a wheelchair, but…there’s no room for a wheelchair here.”

Deborah says Tom is “basically a prisoner” in their apartment because there is only one room that’s safe for him.

After a scary moment when Tom fell down the stairs outside their basement apartment, Deborah took to social media to look for answers.

She was overwhelmed by the community support and shocked by how many people have had similar experiences.

“People are genuinely concerned that I’m going through this, but also I’m devastated that I’m hearing these stories of people abandoning their loved ones at the hospital and refusing to take them home and, even then, they get sent home in a tax,” she said.

“If we as the caregivers say we can’t look after them, why is no one believing us?”

In a statement to The Leader Spirit, Fraser Health said, “Our Home Health team met with the person and his family yesterday to access the services and supports he needs, including home support and an assessment for long-term care. We are in close contact with the family regarding next steps. While the assessment is underway, the community health nurse will collaborate with them to develop a care plan to help them continue to live at home.”

While Deborah says she is not feeling optimistic at the moment, she hopes some sort of change can come from their experience.

“For the last 10 years I’ve looked after him, in the last 2 years in his failing health I’ve taken care of him,” she said.

“I would never abandon him.”